Dear Abby: Wedding plans cover almost everything

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married, and my fiance’s daughters, 19 and 21, are in the wedding party. I have purchased the dresses they are wearing, which are light and flowing. I have told the girls that on the day of the wedding I do not want them wearing thong underwear. The older one then went to her dad and said she didn’t want to wear regular underwear. He told her she could wear whatever she wants. I have tried telling them that as young ladies there are times you don’t wear thongs, and under a flowing dress is one of them. It’s ONE DAY of their lives. How can I get my point across? — WISE BRIDE IN PHOENIX

DEAR WISE BRIDE: Explain to your fiance exactly WHY you are concerned about his daughters wearing thong underwear under their bridesmaid dresses and, when you do, be graphic. After that, if he still feels the same, accept it. Then pray no slip-ups occur while they are dancing, and no strong gusts of wind come along when the wedding photos are taken.

Dear Abby

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips.

** ** **

DEAR ABBY: I’m dating a lady and committed to our relationship, but every time I visit her at her apartment, she expects me to take her dog out. The building has a policy that if the dog poops, you have to pick it up and dispose of it, so they have bags at different locations.

I don’t like doing it. I grew up on a farm where we had dogs, but never would I think about picking up their poop. It grosses me out. OK, so I have been doing it for a couple of years, but I don’t want to do it anymore. But if I say that or don’t do it, she’ll think I’m not committed to her. What should I do? — DOG WALKING IN TEXAS

DEAR DOG WALKING: Stand up for yourself. Because you feel so strongly, tell her that from now on you will walk her dog TOGETHER or she’ll have to do it herself. You may have been raised on a farm, but you are now part of a community with ordinances against leaving excrement on the streets. Your devotion to this person should not be predicated upon your willingness to perform a task she should have been doing herself.

** ** **

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are having a minor argument, and we are seeking your help in resolving it. We live in an age when we commonly experience “conversations” with robo-calls, virtual assistants (Alexa and Echo) and phone routing software. All this technology is powered by artificial intelligence. So given that we are talking to machines, do we need to follow the rules of etiquette with these robots? My wife insists we should say “Thank you” and “Please” to these software creations, while I say no manners are needed. Your thoughts? — MULLING IT OVER IN MONTANA

DEAR MULLING IT: Although it isn’t mandatory, I know of at least one AI “assistant” that would acknowledge the courtesy.

** ** **

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

** ** **

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)


1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500