Weddings are as much a celebration of friends and family as the bride and groom.
However, one woman has found herself potentially shut out of her brother’s wedding after her husband declared that she should stay at home and look after their three young children while he attended without her.
She does not agree—and it would appear that the majority of people following her story on social media are taking her side.
In a post published to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, the woman explained that as a stay-at-home mom she doesn’t get to go out much and had been looking forward to her brother’s wedding, which would be her first major social event in four years.
Her brother and his fiancée opted to make it a “child free” wedding, meaning the three children would not be able to come.
However, her husband is “absolutely against” the idea of babysitters because his cousin was left permanently disabled while in the care of one several years ago.
The woman suggested they both attend the wedding as it had “been a while” since she had been able to go to one on account of their young kids and “this one is special.”
Her brother is also her husband’s best friend from college, she explained. She proposed that they “get a trusted friend” to babysit and head off on the four-day trip together.
That proposal was rejected by her husband, though, who suggested she do what she would “normally” do and “stay home with the kids while he goes to the wedding.”
The woman argued that she had “as much right to attend as him.” He repeated that she should stay home “for the kids and sacrifice for their sake,” but she was unmoved, telling him that “he’s a parent too.”
According to the post, the husband reacted badly to this, criticizing his wife for suggesting that he miss his “best friend’s wedding” and accusing her of choosing to “party over keeping our kids safe.”
She says she tried to reassure him that all her friends used babysitters but he told her the topic “wasn’t even up for discussion” and called her “selfish” for trying to “ruin his relationship” with her brother. She also claimed the groom would “understand” if she couldn’t attend.
“He keeps asking who’s more important: a wedding party or my kids,” she wrote.
The post, which has been upvoted 21,200 times on Reddit, sparked a vociferous response, with the vast majority of comments criticizing the husband.
“Every single sentence from him smells like entitlement and selfishness,” MasterpieceOk4688 wrote. “Why doesn’t he stay at home and you attend? Since this never came to his mind he thinks less of you and your needs. You are the servant for the children. Not his wife who is on the same level.”
“Literally every single accusation he’s trying to throw at you is equally applicable to him,” whymiheretho said. “The hypocrisy and obtuseness is truly astounding!”
Parsnipbusy commented: “He wants her to stay in his home, raise his kids & be a housemaid but doesn’t want to give her time to herself. She might realize he’s being a total jerk and it’s not something she wants to be with.”
Another user, posting as perfectpencil, highlighted another potential issue. “He’s trapped her,” they wrote. “She relies on him financially completely and has an obligation to the kids. She can’t walk away easily. He knows that and exploits it.”
Brandy8Marie, meanwhile, suggested that the husband’s declaration could be rooted in something more sinister.
“I’m starting to think this is more about the husband not wanting his wife to get out of the house than a babysitter issue,” they wrote. “He would suggest HE stays behind and SHE goes to the wedding if it were that big of a deal. This sounds like more of a controlling and isolating situation to me.”
Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.
Child-free weddings may seem controversial to some but, according to Whitney C. Harris and Jaime Mackey at Brides.com, the key to their success is consistency.
“It’s entirely up to the couple whether or not children are invited to the wedding,” they write.
“Decide whether you want little ones there or would prefer an adults-only celebration, and then put your foot down. That means no exceptions.”
They added: “Make sure you’re applying that age rule across the board.
“And if someone calls to ask if they can bring their kids along, let them know what you’ve decided and stick to your guns.”
This isn’t the first time a wedding invitation has sparked outrage on social media.
Earlier this month a bride-to-be earned the backing of the internet after revealing she had uninvited her severely autistic sister.
In another Reddit post, a woman ended up skipping her sister’s nuptials after her daughter was fired as flower girl in the lead-up to the big day.